Balancing Emotions and Stoicism

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    At all ages of childhood, from infanthood to the teen years, one major challenge of parenting comes in shepherding a child's emotions. As an infant, they really are incapable of controlling their emotions.  Everything they feel is expressed through their emotions.  By looking at a baby, it is pretty clear to see if they are upset by something, or content and happy. Crying or laughing becomes their primary communication. However, as a child grows they gain control over their emotions. A toddler does not have the same control as a teenager, and, generally, a teenager is still much more emotional than an adult.  

    Emotions are given to us by God.  They are part of our humanity.  God is an emotional God and we are made in His image. We are made to experience love, sadness, fear, anger, and joy.  Conversely, God is not a God of uncontrolled emotions and learning to experience emotions without being ruled by them is a sign of our spiritual maturity.

     We often see two extremes when it comes to emotions.  Some people are stoic and seem to be void of any emotions.  Others are so emotional, they lack the ability to be rational or logical.  Is one better than the other?  How are we to balance this conundrum as Christians? 

    I hope you don't tire of me saying that the answer is in the Scriptures.  The truth is that the answer to every question in life can be found by studying the principles and practical guidelines that are given to us in this life-giving book called The Holy Bible. 

    In the case of our emotions, we can see several Scriptures that will guide our thoughts.  First, Ecclesiastes 3:4 tells us that there is "a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance".  I Corinthians 13 tells us that nothing we do matters if we are lacking love.  The Psalms are filled with the heart-cries of the psalmist, who poured out his emotions in the form of poetry and song. So clearly, emotions are good and needful.  

    We also find in Scripture that "God is not a God of confusion, but of peace." (I Corinthians 4:33)Paul is speaking of order in the church here, but also of order  by each individual that makes up the Body of Christ.  James warns us that we must control our anger, "the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (James 1:20) The phrase, "Do not fear" is found multiple times in the Bible.  Proverbs 19:2 reminds us that "zeal without knowledge" is not good. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit -- thus an evidence of our standing with God. So clearly again, emotions are to be held in check at many points.  

  How to we accomplish this?  The answer can be found in Romans 12:2, which says: "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is ..."  The key to living all of life is that we are to be continually putting on the mind of Christ and being transformed in the inward man.  As we put on His mind, our mind and emotions will be guided by truth and discernment.  Then we can experience all the God-given emotions, backed with a foundation of who we are in Christ.  Only through Him can we even know love, joy, gratitude and peace -- or even righteous anger. 

    We are back again to feeding our spiritual mind the food it needs to grow in emotional and spiritual maturity: The Word of God. As we experience the mind of Christ more fully, we will experience emotions we never really felt before.  The love of Christ is like nothing the world can fathom.  The grief and sadness over the lost is intensified as we realize the the plight of man more completely. We are repulsed and even angered as we see the working of the evil one more clearly in everything around us.  We are humbled and grateful for the redemption received through the substitutionary atonement Jesus gifted us with His death and resurrection. With our emotions grounded in the work of Christ, we avoid sin and grow more like our Saviour.  

    Do you see how even in the matter of our emotions, the Bible offers us solutions and guidance?  No matter which way we tend to err (stoicism or emotionalism), as we mature in Christ, we find truth and grace to live as God created us to be.  May God be glorified in every aspect of our lives -- including our emotions!

Soli Deo Gloria!

💓 Heather Sparks💓

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