Grace

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     During this week between Christmas and New Year's Day, I try to set up my planner for the coming new year. Sometimes the planner is an old-fashioned paper calendar and plain old notebook.  Sometimes it is a fancy, shmancy planner with all of the bells and whistles. Increasingly, it is more and more on my phone or tablet as certain apps help keep my spaghetti noodle brain somewhat straight.  I set goals.  I menu plan. I set up cleaning schedules.  I revamp the chore list. I visualize all of the areas that I need to improve. I make lists -- endless lists. 😂 Each year I get excited about all of the great things I will accomplish as I look at the new and improved me that will be if I follow each of these goals out in the coming weeks.  
    Sometimes some of these goals do actually happen, and I love to look back  at areas of self-improvement.  I have a moment of pride and pat myself on the back.  I may even brag about it a bit to my husband and kids.  More often than not,  after only a few days -- or maybe a couple weeks -- I mess up and fail to do or accomplish one or several of the goals on my list.  I may or may not pick myself up and keep trying to get back on track.  Quite often, I get discouraged and disgusted with myself for lacking the stick-to-itiveness to fully form new habits that I think I desire for myself.  
    I don't think I am alone in this struggle.  With the prevalence of social media, it is so easy to see the picture perfect versions of other people's lives and measure yourself against it.  An overabundance of self-help books, YouTube tutorials, and "Steps to .." articles that promise to help you organize, lose weight, clean house, raise the perfect children, etc  flash up constantly on my phone or computer screen.  I have found some to be truly helpful, don't get me wrong.  However, I have  frequently fallen into the trap of coveting, or losing sight of the truly important things when my eyes wander for too long from the path that God has set before me.  Very quickly, anxiety, self-deprecation, worry, and fear can overwhelm me as I start comparing all the ways I have failed to the "ideal" representations I am viewing.  
    Gradually over the past few years, God has been showing me that His desire for a spirit of peace and joy within me cannot be found in a perfectly organized, list-run person or home.  This must be the result of grace at work in my heart.  God's grace.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."  2 Corinthians 12:9

    What I am slowly learning, is that it is not about me at all! God wants to show Himself powerful through me.  My short-comings and failures are where He shines through, if I surrender to His purpose for my life.  I can never reach perfection.  If I could, I wouldn't need a Savior! That is why Jesus came, to extend grace to miserable, wretched failures like myself. There will never be a time that I don't need that grace in my life. I  may or may not acknowledge it, but it is still there.  
    Learning to rest in the grace that God offers me brings that peace that I seek.  This doesn't mean that I will stop working at becoming a healthier, more organized person.  It does mean that I will look for God's grace to shine through when I fail. I will fail. God will not.  If success happens in any area of my life, it will be God who is glorified, and not me.  This takes the pressure off of me and frees me to accomplish His goals for my life.  It also helps me to prioritize the goals that guide my heart and my family closer to Him.  Opening my heart to receive His grace allows that that peace and joy to calm my spirit.  
    My prayer is that you and I will open our hearts to the grace of God.  As we evaluate that successes and failures of the past and implement new habits for the coming year, may we let His strength carry us through each area of personal weakness so that He shines! Rest in His grace today and always!

💓 Heather Sparks💓
    
    

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